The answer to the question is an easy one: scary.
I remember all the emotions from the first time I coordinated Alpha with my wife, Lisa. We had never experienced Alpha as guests, let alone as volunteers.
In fact, only one of our volunteers had experienced Alpha in any capacity before.
We had done the Alpha training and painted a picture of why we were doing Alpha. We read about the experiences of others and felt like we had done all our due diligence in getting ready.
And yet, we were so scared!
What would people be expecting? Would they have a good time? What if we ran out of food? What if the sound or video didn’t work? What if they could see how nervous we were?
The questions raced through our minds as we waited for the guests to arrive.
We greeted them and invited them to our table, asked them how their weeks were going. We ate our meal together and chatted before watching the Alpha video. By the time we were discussing the questions in small groups, hearing their questions and ideas, we realized it truly was just conversation.
I asked my wife how she felt about running Alpha for the first time.
“Very scary… and also, exhilarating. It was a brand new tool and I didn’t know exactly how I should use it. The perfectionist in me wanted to get it right. Now there is still scariness (running Alpha again), but I have seen the success! I’ve seen it work, so I know why it’s worth it to do it.”
I asked some friends who had run Alphas and they shared similar sentiments.
“(Running Alpha for the first time was) a real leap of faith—we didn't know who would come or how it would go, so we really needed to learn on the fly and trust the Spirit. It was the seed of a great ministry!”
Another said:
“(It was) a real joy watching guests blossom as they come to know Jesus.”
And another:
“Learning it's okay to not be a leader, but rather a facilitator… just keep the ball of conversation bouncing around the group. Awkward silence is okay as most folks need a little time to gather thoughts and respond.”
So breathe deeply and enjoy being in the moment with people. God is there to do the work. We just have to show up and be present.
